A little while back, I read something online that said that some older women believe that they need not learn about money because it falls into the realm of things-that-men-know-about. These women believe that men are the only ones who need to understand money and that they will be fine so long as they have a man around.
I was literally blown away and couldn’t get to my computer fast enough to start writing this post! This is one of the most ridiculous concepts I have ever heard in my life. I had to ask myself – Why is this idea so foreign to me? Why am I having such a visceral negative reaction to this worldview?
The answer is as follows – money is a tool, much like a knife. If you’re smart enough to learn how to use a knife, then you’re smart enough to learn how to use money. A tool is a tool and its functionality doesn’t change based on the gender of the person who wields it. A butter knife is a butter knife whether held in the hand of a woman or a man. Similarly, money’s functionality doesn’t change – it purchases options for both women and men. Body parts have absolutely nothing to do with it!!!
I realize that many households run on a division of labor, and perhaps handling money is one of those items that falls along gender lines in some households. However, a division of labor is not the same thing as saying that one person cannot learn how to use a tool simply because their private bits are on the inside while someone else’s bits hang on the outside.
All people come into this world naked – no one is born knowing how to use any of the tools that have been invented by everyone who came before us. Adults don’t expect babies to know how to do very much beyond cry, poop, and sleep. For the first few months, we get a pass so long as we’re doing these things on a sufficiently normal schedule. However, there does come a point where we have to start learning how to use the tools that are available to us so that we can be fully functioning adults.
Money is one of those tools. My fervent hope is that the idea that only men need to know how to use this tool is one that will be extinguished forever. Every one needs to know how to use this tool in order to live a life that is truly reflective of their personal goals, dreams, desires and priorities. Parents teach all children how to use tools that are necessary to their offspring’s survival because parents want what is best for their children. It is perplexing to me that parents would purposefully limit their daughters’ armamentarium of tools by failing to teach them about money, which is so vitally important to achieving the financial goals that their daughters may have for their futures. The more money there is, the more options there are.
(And while we’re on the subject, washing machines and clothes dryers are tools too. There’s nothing intrinsically female about these machines. Both will start and operate properly whether they are loaded and unloaded by a man or by a woman. Yet it never ceases to amaze me how many older men – with wives or without – never consider doing their own laundry.)
Thankfully, dinosaur-esque attitudes about what topics are suitable for men and what topics are suitable for women are dying. Money is a tool that benefits all people because it affords them the ability to exercise financial agency over their own lives. Knowing how to use money as a tool is vitally important for everyone, regardless of their gender. Trusting someone else to take care of you for your whole life is a huge gamble. Even if you’re married to the most loyal, ethical and wonderful person in the whole world, someone who could never dream of harming a single hair on your head, there’s no guarantee that this magnificent person will always be around. There are things such as accidents, kidnappings, unemployment, comas, and death which can all work to prevent Magnificent Person from taking care of you every single day for the rest of your life.
This is why it’s imperative that you learn how to operate the tool called money. You have to know more than how to pay the bills. You need to know that part of every dollar that crosses your palm needs to be set aside in an emergency fund, and that your emergency fund needs to be worth atleast 3 months of income. You need to know that paying interest on credit card debt is the equivalent of setting money on fire. You need to know that it’s generally best to pay off your home before you retire so that you can rely on its equity if you need to pay for nursing home care. You need to know that from the smallest acorns do the mighty oaks grow – the same is true of your money. Steady contributions to your investment portfolio will yield a nice, fat cash cushion for you in the future.
There are many lessons about money that take a lifetime to learn, and you bear a responsibility to yourself and to your loved ones to learn how to manage the money that comes into your life. And it’s also your duty to teach the young people in your life how to properly manage their money, how to stay out of debt, and how to invest for their futures.
So many of us in the FIRE-sphere think about the financial independence that money will bring to us. Some of us dream about retiring early. However, there’s insufficient emphasis on the nuts and bolts of money that are just as vitally important to those who don’t live and breathe FIRE. Money is a tool – everyone needs to know how to use this tool so that they can pursue their own dreams and goals.