It’s the holiday season again! Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, people will be bombarded with advertising encouraging them to buy as much as they possibly can to prove the depth of their love for the special ones in their lives.
Do you want your child to be happy? Buy a toy! Do you want your spouse to be happy? Buy a car! Do you want your parent to be happy? Buy them a trip! Do you want to be happy? Open your wallet and buy!
For the most part, this is a stupid method for building the bonds of love and kinship. Gifts of stuff don’t make for great relationships. Gifts of time, gifts of effort – these are the the seeds of strong and loving connections to others. Luckily, these kinds of gifts do not need to be expensive or extravagant.
In my family, there has been a debate for the past few years about how to do the gift exchange. My mother is adamantly in favour of receiving gifts, and she is quite willing to give gifts too! My brother is the complete opposite. He’s of the view that none of us needs anything else so we shouldn’t be participating in the shopping frenzy of Christmas. A compromise was reached – gifts will be exchanged but there will be a limit of $20. It’s not a perfect solution, but we’ll see if it works for us. My sister-in-law lifted a burden from my plate recently when she asked me for a tin of cookies for her Christmas present. I was so happy because her request eliminates atleast one trip to the mall! As for the extended family who celebrates the day with us… I will be buying something for each of them that I know they will appreciate and I will be sticking to the limit of $20.
One of my joys at this time of year is baking Christmas cookies: gingersnaps, shortbread, magic cookie bars, haystacks, peanut butter blossoms, thumbprint cookies!
These are my family’s Christmas cookies, not to be confused with my other cookies that are made throughout the year. They are special because no one else bakes cookies anymore and I only make them at Christmas-time. I generally give away 7-10 tins of baking per year, and I start baking 4 weeks before the Big Day! Making an extra tin of cookies for my family is a simple thing that will make everyone happy.
Having the shortbread that our mother used to make for us when we were small will bring back happy childhood memories for my brother. The beauty of memories is that they need not be purchased with cash, stored, maintained, dusted, or otherwise handled. They are free, but they can still be powerful and wonderful and thoroughly enjoyed. This is the effect that people are seeking to create when buying gifts at the store, isn’t it?
Cookies are a gift to my mother too. She can enjoy them, without having to do all the work that they entail. My mother isn’t as young as she once was, so marathon baking is no longer an option for her. Yet, she still loves the assortment of treats that I bake for Christmas. Enjoying a few cookies will put a smile on her face which is what I want to see on Christmas day. It’s a win-win for both of us.
The holidays need not deplete your bank account, nor flatten your wallet. Do not let the AdMan and the Creditor tell you that joy can only be bought in a store. There are ways to create wonderful memories without working your way towards bankruptcy. The holiday season is already packed with so many over-the-top expectations about how everything “should be” so give yourself a break and relieve some of the financial pressure. Figure out the two or three things that you love most, focus on those, and build the relationships you want with those whom you love best. Trust me – that is definitely a gift to yourself that cannot be bought in a store!