Money, Memories, and Memorials

This past weekend, I attended the memorial service of a family member. It was beautiful.

My lovely aunt passed away at the age of 94. She was a vibrant woman, much-loved by family and friends alike. The fact that chairs had to be brought in to the small theatre where her service was held is a testament to number of people who wanted to honor her passing.

As I sat with my family, I watched the large screen as picture after picture was displayed. There was my aunt with her parents, her siblings, her husband, her children, and her friends. My aunt loved life! She was always the life of the party and she loved to laugh with whoever was around her. There is no doubt that she will be missed.

It occurred to me that I need to spend more time asking myself if I’m spending my money the way I want to today to build as wonderful a legacy of memories that my aunt did. So much of personal finance is about the mechanics. There’s plenty of talk about investing and emergency funds and getting out debt. There’s insufficient discussion about what the money is truly meant to do for you.

Money is merely a tool to assist to you in building a marvellous life. It is not a goal in and of itself. Without the love of family and friends, money is nearly meaningless. Money won’t gather to mourn you when you’re gone. It won’t sit at your bedside when you’re sick or near your end. Money will never give you a kick-in-the-ass when you need one. Money can assist you to create memories, but it should never be the only thing memorable about the real you. It is merely a tool to assist you to survive in our capitalist society. Money is not loyal to you, and it will leave you in a heartbeat without a backwards glance.

Now don’t get me wrong. My aunt needed money to pay the bills and feed her family, to afford shelter and utilities and clothes, etc…. I’m not daft enough to suggest that money is irrelevant. Obviously, it’s not.

What I am positing it that it’s vitally important that each of us realize that having strong and loving relationships with other people is what makes life worth living. Laughing with friends, sharing meals, sitting quietly together, giving others your precious time and access to your unique presence – these are the moments that knit relationships together. Memories create the salve needed to heal the emotional pain felt by those who will mourn you when you’re gone. And at the end of the journey, a well-lived life is measured in memories.

Now, I have to consider how I’m living my own life. Am I creating these memories with those I love and hold most dear? Do I focus too much on the numbers and not enough living life? How many moments will there be to tally when it’s my time to shuffle off this mortal coil?

Thank you, Auntie. Even though you’ve moved on, you’ve taught me another important lesson. I will strive to follow your beautiful example of how to create many wonderful moments in my own life.