Tag: Shopping

Spending Season is Back!

If my various timelines are to be believed, Black Friday is officially next week.

Retailers are running their marketing departments ragged, now that spending season is back. They want you online and in stores, wallets open! You are the prey and their inventory is the bait. They want your money and they want it bad. The question you have to ask yourself is: do you want your money more than they do?

You’ll note that there won’t be any Black Friday sales on your rent/mortgage, your transportation costs, your utilities, your credit card bills, or your other debts. Nope! Those expenses are fixed, and no one’s giving you a break on those.

However, the sales will be on the want-to-have’s, the nice-to-have’s, the things you think you need to Keep Up With the Joneses! And I’m not claiming to be a saint in this arena. For the past 2 weeks, I’ve been debating whether to buy myself a Danish dough whisk. I’d never heard of it until I saw it being used by someone on YouTube. I own a stand mixer, a hand mixer, several other whisks, and a dozen forks. On a scale of 1 to 10, my need for a Danish dough whisk falls at -2. Yet… if I get a good enough Black Friday “deal”, I just might buy myself one.

And the retailers are collectively betting that enough of us consumers will go wild next Friday because everything will be on sale, so why not?

It’s your money so you do whatever you think will make you happiest. I’m not here to stop you from spending your money. You earned it so you get to decide where it goes.

What I am going to do is ask you if you’ve really thought about why you’ll be spending money next Friday. Is it because you’ve waited all year and this is your treat to yourself? Maybe you’ve priced out everything for those one your Christmas list, the prices really will be cheaper next Friday, and you’ll save money? Or is it that shopping on Black Friday is a family-and-friends tradition that you missed out on in 2020 due to COVID-19? Could it be that you’re one of the very luck ones for whom money is no object so you’re free to spend with abandon?

In you’re inclined to start shopping, you should ask yourself if the shopping gets your closer to or further from your long-term financial goals. Will shopping next week help you make your dreams come true? You work so hard for your money that it would be a shame for you to fritter it away on stuff. Do not spend just for spending’s sake.

Way back in pre-pandemic times, the last 5 weeks of the year were a flurry of spending. There may have been travel, whether by plane, bus, car or train. Nearly always, there was entertaining – hosting parties or attending them. Delicious holiday food was everywhere! And the opportunities to shop were endless. After all, Black Friday was quickly followed by Cyber Monday – another day devoted to plucking the dollars from your wallet.

I anticipate that the last few weeks of 2021 are going to more closely resemble life before COVID-19. People want to get back to normal, and that’s understandable. This pandemic has been awful, for any number of reasons! We all want it in the rearview mirror as fast as possible. Personally, I don’t think it’s wise to revive bad spending habits that may have been curtailed in 2020.

Yet, I’m going to urge you to consider exercising a bit more restraint in respect of your spending this year. Do you really need to derail your long-term financial goals to show love to your family and friends? Might there be a way to enjoy the holidays without spending a ton of money? Will the few moments of novelty be worth the credit card bills that will inevitably arrive?

Spending season is back, but you need not be its victim. Determine how much you have to spend. Make a list of where you want to spend your money. Stick to you list. Enjoy your time with family and friends, but don’t undermine your life’s dreams to do so.

Shopping Season

The shopping season is upon us once again! It used to be called the Christmas season or the holiday season but the notion of Christmas or holidays is no longer emphasized.

When I look around, all I see is the emphasis on shopping. Apparently, the proper and just way to show your love to family and friends is to empty your wallet. Every retailer under the sun is exhorting you to spend-spend-spend! If you’ve got a nickel, they’ll happily take it.

Need a gift for your bus-buddy’s grandmother’s snow-shoveller? Then head over to Staples and find just the right thing!

How about a little something for the hostess’ dog-groomer’s roommate’s twin sister? Surely you’ll find what you need at Tim Horton’s.

And let’s not forget to buy a gift for your neighbour’s chiropractor’s assistant’s step-sister’s tennis instructor’s mechanic’s first mother-in-law, okay? Surely, the perfect gift is just waiting to be found on Amazon.

I jest…but not by much.

Gift-giving expectations have exploded.

When I was a child, it was way back in the dark ages. People read by candlelight. A full-sized chocolate bar cost $0.05. It was a 10-mile walk to school, both ways uphill. Back then, a seasonal greeting was sufficient and no one expected anything else.

Today, the retailers have brain-washed us into believing that we should spend whatever it takes to buy something for everyone that we know. It’s insidious! What if my neighbour’s chiropractor’s assistant’s step-sister’s tennis instructor’s mechanic’s first mother-in-law doesn’t like the tin of saltwater taffy that I gave her? I spent $42 on shipping – she damn well better like it!

When we buy into the notion that everyone needs atleast one gift from everyone else, then we tacitly accept that money has to be spent or else someone won’t be happy.

Time – the Ultimate Gift

You know what has worked to create better relationships and strong connections? Spending time with people. Playing cards & board games, completing a puzzle together, or hosting a potluck allows for people to share their lives, talk about their dreams, laugh together, and make some good memories. Time is priceless because it is finite. You only get so much of it and it’s best not to waste it.

When you choose to spend time with someone, you’re giving them something precious. You can’t buy time, but you can use it to create spheres of intimacy where you, your friends and your family can just be. In today’s world, where the constant demand is to do more, be more, spend more, achieve more, one of the best gifts of all is creating a space where it’s okay to just chill, to simply relax, to be together with those whom you cherish.

I’m not trying to pretend that you don’t need some money at this time of the year. If you have to travel or you’re making something that’s not on your regular grocery list, then funds will be needed. If you’re hosting out of town guests, then you’re going to need some extra funds for the additional costs of running a household with a few more bodies. I don’t want to give the impression that this time of year doesn’t deliver some solid punches to your pocketbook.

However, I do want to disabuse you of the notion that buying stuff is the way to find the kind of relationship that you want. No one wants to feel like they’re simply a wallet-on-legs. You want to feel appreciated, not taken for granted. Going into debt to buy gifts for other people is not the way to create the genuine relationship that you most truly desire.

Spend cash! Spend cash! Spend cash!

If I can’t convince you to cut down on the number of presents that you dole out, then perhaps I can persuade you not to go into debt to do so. Keep the credit cards out of your wallet – don’t take them to the mall – most definitely do not use them online! If a website already has a copy of your credit card information saved, then go an delete it immediately. You need to slow down the speed at which you spend your hard-earned money. I call this slowing down process “financial friction”. You will need to create some friction between your viewing of an item and the purchase of that item. Friction will impede your ability to go into debt during the shopping season. This is a very good thing!

Trying to buy someone’s love is a bad idea. Going into debt to buy someone’s love is an even worse idea! If your plan to buy affection doesn’t work, then you’re in debt while also failing to get what you really crave from someone else.

At the root, everyone wants the same thing. People really want to be accepted and loved for who they truly are. They want a genuine connection to others and to know that they are cherished. Your wallet can only buy stuff – it cannot buy the intangible elements of a wonderful relationship.

After all, if your relationship is based on money, then what’s left if the money goes away? How do you know that you’re loved for who you are rather than for what you can buy?

As hard as this may be to believe, I have nothing against gifts! I enjoy giving them and I enjoy receiving them. What I’ve learned over my years is that the amount spent doesn’t correlate to the importance of the relationship in my life. The people in my life love me after shopping season is over, whether I’ve given them a $2 garage-sale mug, a tin of homemade baking, or the latest fancy electronic toy. Tossing aside my financial goals and going into debt to buy gifts for other people hasn’t resulted in stronger relationships.

Look, I’m not telling you to stop buying gifts. I just want you to think about why you’re buying gifts. And I’m going to gently suggest that you spend a little bit less this year in presents. Those who really and truly love you won’t stop loving you if the box under the tree is slightly smaller this year.

Trust me on this one.