One of the keys to getting what you want from your money is knowing who you are. The very first step to getting what you want is identifying it. There is no way around it – you must know thyself.
Are you a person who buys something because everyone else buys it? Or are you saving up for something that may only be magical to you? Do you care about others’ opinions on how you spend your money? Are you a person who can live with the consequences of your choices?
Be very honest with yourself about how you want to use your money. Some people want to use it to impress others. Then there are those who use it to control or manipulate the people around them. A good number of people use their money to alleviate suffering in the world. And there are some who want to hoard money in an effort to build security for themselves.
What do you want from your money?
As the years roll by, my perspective on money is changing. I’ve always been a saver, a very good saver. And when I first learned about the FIRE movement, my goal was to one day save 50% of my income – maybe even 70%! However, as I approached this arbitrary yet magical allocation, I started to seriously consider the impact saving that much money would have on my desired lifestyle.
Thanks to several money mistakes, saving 50% wouldn’t allow me to retire in my 40s…which would have been awesome, since I’m long past the ability to retire in my 30s. I suppose if I were willing to commit to very reduced standard of living, I could retire in my 40s… But I know myself. I don’t want to retire and hope that nothing goes so wrong that I have to return to work. I want to be done with working once I retire. Saving 50% wouldn’t get me there. Even saving 70% wouldn’t give me the kind of retirement cash flow that I want.
So I stopped chasing that arbitrary goal and crunched my numbers. Saving a solid chunk of my paycheque would allow me to retire in my early 50s. And I’d have a little extra jingle in my pockets to enjoy the journey. Speaking of the journey, travel has always been one of my favourite things. The “extra money” that wasn’t squirrelled away allowed me to travel overseas. Before the pandemic hit, I was fortunate enough to visit Italy, Spain, and Ireland. Had I been saving 50% of my paycheque, those trips wouldn’t have been possible… and they also wouldn’t have been possible after retirement because my retirement cash flow would not be enough to pay for them.
See… I know myself. And I know that I don’t want to be a penny-pincher during my retirement. I won’t be keeping tigers on a gold leash, nor skipping across the globe to spend equal time in my 4 homes. However, I will have the flexibility to do more international trips, to make renovations to my home, to replace the appliances as needed.
What I also know is that if I had been smarter sooner, I would have made different choices. There’s no sense regretting my choices because I don’t have a time machine to go back and change them.
Knowing myself means that I’ve made peace with the following truth: I don’t use a budget. My money-management system does not involve very many categories. The only ones I have are: retirement, short-term goals, charity, and Everything Else. I’m a huge fan of using automation to ensure that my first three categories are funded. My paycheque hits my account – my automatic transfers are triggered – I spend whatever’s leftover in my chequing account. The leftover money has to last me until the next payday. I can spend it however I want, on whatever I want, secure in the knowledge that the priorities most important to me are being funded.
Your choices need not please everyone else.
Thankfully, I’ve reached the stage in life where I don’t require a popular vote to feel good about my financial decisions. When I was younger, it bothered me that my friends’ financial priorities didn’t align with mine. I intensely disliked being told that I was “saving too much money.” When others blithely told me “you can afford it”, I would bite my tongue so very hard in order to not lash out in anger. How dare someone else tell me how to spend my money?
I’ve since learned to let those comments roll off my back. Their priorities are not mine. And their hearts were probably in the right place. They honestly believed that their spending habits, which obviously made them happy, would make me happy too. And I’m sure I drove them nuts talking about retirement and investing and saving. Those were the things that made me happy. Over time, I learned to only talk about money with friends who are also interested in investing and retirement planning. Again, knowing myself has led me to find like-minded people who encourage and support me when it comes to pursuing my financial goals.
Know thyself. What is it that you want your money to do for you? Once you’ve answered that question, the next question is whether your money is actually being put towards achieving those goals. Finally, what changes do you need to make to align your spending with your financial goals?
